I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
