no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
