We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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