I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
