Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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