Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm too high and old for this...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
