well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
