Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
