You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
