YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
