woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have fence marks all over my body
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
