Yo dont text me then not text me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
