it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
