do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
