Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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