garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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