so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
