I just pynch a tree in the face
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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