how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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