Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
