You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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