do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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