What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
