I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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