He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
