I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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