you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
