my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
