I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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