I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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