I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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