This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
