My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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