I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
