I am puke
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
