Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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