so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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