I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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