i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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