dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
