remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
