rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
