And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
