Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
