she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
