So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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