one two three fourrrrnication!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
