Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
