i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
