please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
