im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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