Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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