Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Randomize
