It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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