yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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