i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
