I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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